It's been some much time since my last visit to Oz...things doesn't look better now that a year ago. I should go back.

I already talked to Dream about it and thanked him for the help. Rose you won't have to worry about Killjoy chasing Rascal for some time, Ggio I have some books for you, and V, that last virus was interesting, I wish you the best luck.

[Locked to Corinthian.]

Can I talk with you in, please?

Those dreams I told you about the flying houses, I had them again. Every night, the few times I tried to sleep. I can sense that my sister is in danger, I need to go now, and I'm not sure if I would be able to come back.

[/Locked to Corinthian.]

 
Like a married couple~

Get ready, I will pick you up in a few minutes Cor Corinthian.

We are going to celebrate.

I was riding in my broom over the North Pole this last night. I felt like screaming at the dark, screaming at the dark on the top of my lungs like a creature who is looking for a little release.

Animals roar when they feel like why can't we do that too? I wanted to disturb peace.

It's been like that for a week now, but this time, Jack had nothing to do with it. It was all me. It's my fault.

It started after I ran away from Oz. The second I left I lost a piece of myself, a large piece of my heart…not my soul, I don’t have one. Nancy tries to help me get through it. I love her for it. But she doesn’t get it. She could never understand how much my sister’s change hurt, how much a girl with a soft white skin and curled blond hair affected my life. I usually don’t want to think about it either.

Just after I met Madame Morrible, I had a vision and what do you know I do believe it has come true. A celebration throughout Oz that’s all to do with me! Well the vision was hazy indeed; I never imagined they would be celebrating my death. Or they will, be if the movie Jack made me watch was right.

The few times I sleep I have more visions. I’m not sure but I think what I’m seeing right now is the present or something that will happen soon.

A flying house…so silly.

Is there really a thin line between sanity and madness? Maybe it's easy to brand someone as crazy. Maybe it's easy to view someone as "different", to offer and communicate manufactured judgments as if they were truths, and to label and to manipulate others to do the same because by doing that we don't need to hold the mirror up to oneself and see our own warts.

Maybe it was easy not to have faith in human nature.I try not to be like that but..Jack's sanity worries me. He been talkign to himself agian, and it's getting worse.

......



I have a 2 week delay on my period. The last weeks I felt fatigued and had some headaches but it's probably the stress or a ommom flue.

It have to be that.

[She speaks, low like she has problems finding the words]

Looks like my family have gone seditious in my absence. How ironic it was, that I have grown out of it- or been forced out- just as they had grown into it....

[The voice changes to a more angry tone]

Nessa..my own sister a traitor, ruler of my own usurped province! Father a shrewd political strategist before his death!

[A growl from killjoy]

And I, on the fringes once more, having lost at my own game; I failed insurrectionist, fighting longer and harder against a heavy tide and still losing, and it all coming so much easier to my family. And I..I..I failed Jack too..I leave him alone...he will not forgive me this time. I will not forgive me this time.

If I had stayed. If I hadn’t gone to see Nessa..Boq wouldn't be... he would be dead, probably, but isn't that better?

[A yelp from Killjoy and the sound of her moving around the room nervous]

Elphaba closed the grimmerie, unable to concentrate in it. It was hard to read it when she was calm, but when she was worried and nervous it was nearly impossible. She don't even knew what was she reading, and due to the bad effects that a wrong spell can have, she decided to let it go. She waited for Jack.

No one is allowed to call me cute. Never again.

I have so many things in my mind I feel like I’m going crazy. Glinda is helping a bit, but she really doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

How many .of the Animals have I encountered that are  just as decent and normal as any human he had ever met? Why people can't understand that? Simply because they are Animals.

There are so many of them struggling to survive in Oz, many more than I expected. But If they give it up and leave, they might eke out a living for themselves on the farms to the West or in Munchkinland – as laborers, servants, little better than beasts of burden? Some would say they should be glad for the opportunity. But why should they be expected to debase themselves willingly?

Now my thoughts are always wandering constantly to worries about politics, in Shiz and at home, Fiyero and I are still acting uncomfortable around each other, and I can't focus on anything except the idea of doing something. Something drastic, like visit the Wizard to ask him for answers.

I feel like I'm just going to explode because I can't cope with everything that's going on. 
[Locked from Jack]

And then there is Jack.

I want to make him happy and I enjoy being with him , I love him as much as my soulless person can love someone, but..babies?

I'm sure I can't do that. My parents weren't exactly a model of conduct, and kids are just...not my thing. I liked to take care of Nessa when she was a child, but having child on my own...No, just no. What if they born green as me? I can't do that to them.

I want to talk with Jack about it, but he sounded so convinced when he told me that he wants kids; he didn’t give me chance to say anything about it. Now...I really don’t know what to do." 
[/Locked from Jack]

1. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.

2. Go to Google Images and search for that word.

3. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word).

(The html for images is here.) < img src = " image url " / > (without spaces)

4. Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same.